I am just so stinkin' tired of things as they are. I am sick of being single, I am tired of feeling lonely. I am lonely. I want change. I want attention!!!! I WANT ATTENTION!!!! I want to be noticed by people. I want to be seen. I want things to be better. I want to feel noticed. I want to feel pretty and good and cared for. I want to feel pretty and good. I to feel happy about my life. I guess I am just depressed. I want more than I currently have. I want to feel peaceful about my life. I want to like my work and to have fun too. I want my financial ends to meet. I want peace. I want less anxiety and more fun. I want to know I am cared about. I know my father in heaven cares about me I have a testimony of this and I think this is just one of those times where he is letting me struggle for some reason, to grow and learn and such. I HATE THINGS AS THEY ARE!!!!so that says to me change, already. that is much easier said than done. then i say change what? Change spiritually, ok I can read the scriptures more consistantly and attend the temple more regularly, I feel anxiety in thinking of this all. I am afraid of failure. I hate not being perfect. I hate fallng short. I want a friend! A friend who is there for me and cares for me as I would and do for others. I want someone who needs me. And I know the Savior does, but sometimes you just want and earthly being to. Particularity of the opposite sex.

Okay this is ironic, I am sitting here getting this post done and what comes on Pandora "You are Loved (Don't Give Up)" by Josh Groban. Thank you Lord, I won't give up, even though at times I really want to. For in the end this to shall pass, right?!

PS I'd suggest reading the first comment to this post.